we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Shame - the story of my life.
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