I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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