Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
