I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
