A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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