Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
