She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
