Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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