I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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