The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
