Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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