she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
