she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
