i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
