oh god the rape fog is back!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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