This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ugly people sure do ruin things
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
