like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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