no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
