Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
