i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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