Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
honey bunches of taint.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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