Jerry, you need to find god
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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