Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
