Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
too bad you live with your parents still
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
