When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
