Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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