I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize