his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
