you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
