Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
