so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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