remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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