And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
