I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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