No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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