I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
