Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
