we're blogging at a bar
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
