My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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