Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
