You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Drunk is a universal language darling
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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