we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
