last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
