It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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