Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
