I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
