You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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