she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
