His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
