I bet he comes in French.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
