mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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