happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
