Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
