i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
