I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Holy sore nipples Batman
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Someone stole a lamp last night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
