Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
