So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
