for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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