wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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