need another drink. this is the easiest way
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
